Daley is incapable of laughter, and we're both incapable of remembering things.

You know what's frustrating? Coming back from watching a movie on Facebook and trying to log onto Facebook and it not working. It's actually not that frustrating, I'm just a Facebook whore and I need my fix of online drama. If you couldn't tell by the context clues, I just saw "The Social Network" with Daley, Saige, Sarah, and Liz. But I'm getting ahead of myself. There was a whole day prior to the movie that really just sucked a big one.

Starting out the day writing an essay is never preferable. Starting out the day writing three timed essays is just cruel punishment.  That should be right up there on things America should get rid of, before Guantanamo Bay but right after ban on same-sex marriage. I've been all into the fiasco about LDS leader Boyd K. Packer and his very skewed views on gay marriage. If there is one thing I hate more than bees, it is sheer ignorance and lack of understanding towards others. Sorry to go off subject, but it had to be said. 

After a rather sobering environment class and lunch with Chaige and Charah, I went back down campus to bad words and taboo terms.  Today we learned about the history of swear words.  We discussed the word "cock" and when the class was asked how they thought the word meaning "male rooster" came to be known to mean "penis."  One guy then said, "Well they both rise with the sun. So they are similar there." Needless to say, this was incorrect. I stopped paying attention after that or I would explain the real history. 

Then came "The Social Network."  Tuesdays have become an unofficial movie night in my group of friends.  While the movies are always pretty good (with the exception of "You Again") the car rides there and back are always the highlight. From remixing the words of "Ridin' Solo" to predicting when "Pretty Boy Swag" is coming on the radio, it is always a unique experience and always good for a laugh.  

The title for today's blog comes from Daley and me having about 23 ideas for a blog title then coming back to the dorm and forgetting every one. And also Daley is just incapable of laughter. No mystery there.

The poster clearly says not to look up so what does Daley do? Dicture.

If your sexual preferences are questionable while dancing, you might be gay

this is the best picture i've ever found on facebook.

I'VE BEEN FOUND!! Tonight, I thought I was eating dinner with Allison and company, but actually I was eating dinner with her Polish boyfriend (the one who makes sandwiches). All white people look the same to me. THIS COUNTRY IS SOOO CONFUSING!

So, if any of you know Lyndsie Nielson, she is a bitch. She ran over my dog, like a speed bump. So sad, AND right in front of me?? Poor poor poor Miso. May he happily pee on all the dog heaven lamp posts. For constantly telling me how much they HATE my dogs, I got a lot of concerned texts/calls from mi amigos. You do love my dogs, so you can suck it next time they bark at you. Actually my dog is not dead. I'm just kinda weird and have a nonunderstandable love for facebook drama.

So, hip-hop at 24 fitness tonight taught by a man who loves Beyonce? I think so. "It IS a sin to dance to Beyonce, but there's nothing you can do about it" -instructor.

People watching is great. It's even better when they are trying to dance. The highlight of the class was when I would watch this guy, no, Man wearing a bandana dance with the stankiest face i've ever seen. He was either a good dancer with weird moves he'd add in or just had no idea what he was doing. Also, he was either gay or ...not? I contemplated this the whole car ride back.

All in all, today was a good day, except when my dog died. Ohhhh wait, that didn't happen. I just made it up because I think i'm funny.

WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! this just in: Lyndsie Nielson just facebook blocked me. I told you she is a bitch.

Mortal Combat vs. Street Fighter

Mother Nature has stopped being a bitch and finally she is giving us cooler weather.  I'd be cliche and say "I lOvE tHe RaIn :) <3!!!" But then i would be like every other lying girl on Facebook.  I don't mind the rain but it's not like I'll go absolute ape shit when the weatherman predicts 45% chance of precipitation.  Really I'm just happy it's getting to be fall.  Sweater weather.

I skipped math today. I had no motivation to walk through the rain.  I came back to my dorm and studied, so I guess that kind of cancels out, right?  If it doesn't it should. I then went to Sugarhouse Coffee to study which is where the title for today came from.  I was just sitting there reading and highlighting when a group of three nerdy teenagers come in and start discussing fighting games at the top of their lungs. "NO LISTEN! Street Fighter is so much better than Mortal Combat, by far. BY FAR!" First of all kids, you're in a coffee shop, people who go to coffee shops don't care about anything unless it's hip. Second, fighting games are not hip, not even when you yell about them. Third, everyone knows Mortal Combat is so much better then Street Fighter, dumb asses. Let me drink my over priced coffee and and eat my burrito in peace. I don't know what I was thinking getting a burrito with my coffee. That was gross.

From the request of someone who actually reads this blog I am going to list the rules of room 52225. Early in the year Daley and I made a list of rules for the room that we must abide by. The rules are:

1. No Saige allowed. Ever.
2. Don't touch my rug.
3. No friends after 9:30 PM.
4. Don't talk unless you're talked to.
5. Bedtime stories every night. NO exceptions.
6. No cell phones.
7. Don't touch my muffins.
8. Don't talk to the suite mates.
9. Get in a power-t or GET OUT. Power-t Thursday. Represent.

These rules are very important to preserve the harmonious nature of the dorm.

I love the people I ate dinner with tonight. To Saige, Paige, Sarah, Liz, Bryan, and that awkward kid who is just there... Scott or something... You guys are great.  And if anyone has seen Daley please let me know. It wasn't until half way through dinner that we realized she wasn't there.  She is a little Spanish speaking Japanese Ninja.

To all those people who read this blog daily I would like to sincerely thank you. If you have any suggestions, criticisms, or just want to bitch about something, please let me now.

She is my friend. Please help me find her.

Two Points for Honesty

This title has nothing to do with today's events. It is merely the song I am listening to as I type. So no worries, I'm not giving out points for being honest.  The truth is so overrated.

Today was a lazy sunday, as are all sundays.  That's why God made it the day of rest, duh. I woke up late, ate a pop tart, and missed Daley ALL DAY. Bad news bears. I did watch the girls soccer game today, they played Oregon State and lost.  But it's all good because I got to hang out with some cool kids.  Except this lady, a mom from Oregon, who insisted on putting her two cents in on everything we said.  She was also convinced I was a soccer player, even after I told her I hadn't played competitive soccer since AYSO when "everyone was a winner." Bull shit. There is always a loser, it builds character.

After watching "Freedom Writers" I then made my way to the library for a study group with the people in my leadership class.  Everyone in that class basically have the same views, except James.  James is the oldest in the class, a Vietnam War vet with a less then friendly opinion about the environment, believes that the world is around 3,000 years old, and maintains the opinion that Sarah Palin would have made a great president.  Let's just say James and I don't get along. So the 12 or so students and James collected in a small study room in the library.  Thinking it was sound proof we had loud conversations about leadership, only realizing it was not sound proof when leaving the room and being shot dirty looks.  Libraries are no longer meant for silence anyway.  Silence can't be found anywhere unless you're underwater or in a monastery (insert your own silent situation here, my creativity is lacking.) So get used to it library goers.

Later that evening, my sister, my mom, and I decided to go get dinner.  So I took the TRAX down to town and waited for my sister to come pick me up from the station.  She pulled up and feeling like a cheap whore, I got in the car.  Dinner with these two is always a joyous event but it could have been made better by the one and only Kelsey Boyer but hey I take what I can get.

This is a picture my sister has in her apartment. I thought it was funny.

When Life Gives you Lemons, Paint that S*** Gold.

What a day. Where do I even begin!? I guess the beginning is a logical starting point.  Today was a day that will go down in history as one of the best days ever.

Daley, Talia, Madison, Jacob, Nicholas, Erin, and I began the day as normal muggles wishing to be wizards.  We were the kids who cried on our 11th birthdays because we didn't get a letter from Hogwarts.  Today was the day we got redemption.  We became Quidditch players. Many of you are probably wondering how this is possible, frankly I'm still wondering that myself.  To be honest Daley and I showed up to the park and were very skeptical about the whole situation.  A guy with a $70 toy broom, an old chubby referee, and a creepy guy with a camel pack and a pony tail greeted us and we were immediately put-off.  Expectations low, Daley and I picked up brooms and attempted to take the whole situation as seriously as everyone else was. I would attempt to explain the rules but if you're interested in knowing how to play or want to see exactly how ridiculous we looked playing go on YouTube and look up, "How to play Quidditch." What made the whole situation worse was not the fact that we were running around with toy brooms in between our legs but that we were in the park right next to Greek Row.  Ok so far I've been making the situation sound like absolute hell, but really once everyone else got there, we let our guard down, and ignored the various strangers filming us and really started having fun. So for those of you who are thinking about learning a new sport, you should check out Quidditch.  It is a lot more fun then one would expect and everyone can play, as long as you don't mind looking like a complete fool.

After a good day of pretending to fly it is always nice to come back to the dorm and immediately leave again for the Atmosphere concert.  I'm really so tired right now that I may pass out at any second, but i will continue for as long as I can.  For those of you who don't know who Atmosphere is you should really check them out.  Atmosphere is rap but not rap like drugs, sex, and ho's but real rap, in other words the lyrics are amazing.  Give them a listen.  The title of this blog is one of their albums, pretty great.  Anywho, my journey to the Venue started by boarding TRAX and making my way downtown.  The great thing about TRAX is that it is always a new adventure.  I always sit next to very eclectic people and overhear conversations that leave me wondering.  Today a drunk guy was saying how there are two kinds of fluffy: Ninja Fluffy and Midget Fluffy.  I would have asked him what this meant but I choose not to associate myself with strangers on TRAX especially this guy. When I got to the venue I met up with a bunch of my friends and proceeded to get frisked very throughly by the female security guard.  I feel it was a bit excessive and I won't go into detail until I have time to attend therapy.  The concert began and it was already going good.  Two good opening groups, several people getting taken away, a very large Samoan man, and being surrounded by a multitude sweaty people.  Not to mention it was hot as balls but that's what you submit to when you go to a concert.

Finally Atmosphere came on stage and the place went nuts.  Being in a huge crowd of drunk people, being one of those people, and letting go of any shred of dignity you have is truly the only way to feel alive.  After four hours of dehydrated greatness we went outside to get some air and water.  There we saw a really drunk fat guy pull off his shirt and yell at this girl.  The girl then proceeded to push the guy against a van and using a few choice words got him to walk away.  He tripped over a curb, almost got in a fight, and put his shirt back on by the time he made it to the car.  We then talked to the security guards about what they do with all the confiscated drugs.  Want to know what they do?  Well come on, what would you do? Better yet, what would Jesus not do?  Now you have your answer.

One last thing, when entering the dorm yesterday Daley and I saw a guy peeing on the corner of the building outside.  We live in Chapel Glen building 803, where you come to expect these things.

The greatest Quidditch players of all time (missing Erin.) Dicture of the day.

"Not only did she tell me she has a cock, but she wants me to suck it..."

In honor of the quidditch match tomorrow

Hellooooo again. yep, it is a friday night, and even KAYSVILLE was too crazy for me.

It all started when this girl I know, who calls herself my roommate, said tonight was going to be the best night of college. but she didn't really say that. The night did not disappoint, buuut it kinda did. What did you do, you ask? After a good solid 2 hour nap, we ate, and talked about... things. Then how about some good ol' GROCERY SHOPPING? I think so.
blah blah blah we ride up to kaysville and I get my POWER-T'S BACK!!! We played with fake boogers, looked at baby pictures, and caught up on the facebook. Then we watch youtube for quite a while. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Annnnnd that is my Friday night for you. Impressed? You should be. all 7 of you.

Some deep ponderings:

• Who names their kid Serge? Better yet, who honestly names their kid Pitbull?


• What goes down (HAH) in Southern Exposure? ...is it dirtier than Northern Exposure?


• Why are some people soooo dramatic about STUPID stuff no one cares about?


• Why doesn't the suitemate's friend like to wear underwear? :///////


• Why am I so addicted to blogging? and mints?


• How can I avoid all the bro partying going on at the dorms?


• Will Allie ever stop singing about ridin' sonny?

Stop squeezing my bread.

At the request of some choice people I have decided to write today.  I was going to skip writing today because not much has happened, yet.  But I work with what I got, and I gots a blog.  I don't know why "gots" has never been adopted into the dictionary as a real word because really I think it's just great.  My cuteness factor has definitely gone up 3 points. Count it!

Daley has been skimping on her writing. Not everyone wants to hear my mundane opinion all the time.  Daley if you're reading this you really got to get writing. All in favor say "I."  All opposed go jump in a lake.

What has happened today?  Friday in Salt Lake and I'm at a loss for words.  I took a math quiz and went to the gym. I did see Bozo the clown's father working out today.  You know what I'm saying, the red head clown that haunts childhoods?  Well picture this: Old stout man, with a tank top tucked into his short shorts, high white socks, and grey hair that only protruded from the sides of his head.  I wish I could have gotten a dicture.  Which is another thing that was bad about today, no dicture.  For those of you who do not know what a dicture is I will explain it's history.  My good friend... acquaintance, Saige coined the term to describe pictures of dicks.  So I started taking pictures of Saige and putting them in a dicture album (get it?).  The idea has since evolved to include any memorable thing that has happened this school year.  Gotta love Saige and her strange obsession with dicks.

I have been listening to album "Brothers" by The Black Keys non-stop.  Check it out. I love it.  If you are a fan of music or if you love enjoying life then listen to the album. I have to thank my good friend Eden for expanding my one meager song to the whole album.  Musical Genius right there. Eden if you are reading this, I love you.

The title of today's blog comes from Daley.  Remember the bread I bought yesterday at the Farmer's Market?  Well it's sitting in a paper bag in the food basket and Daley walks over, gives the bag a good squeeze, and then opens the closet.  I was left with a confused look on my face and exclaimed, "Daley stop squeezing my bread!"  Which taken out of context can be a little questionable, but then again anything can be taken as dirty now-a-days.