It's been a while. Or just long enough.

Wouldn't it be embarrassing to be sitting in the library and have your computer make a loud noise such as indicating, "You have mail!" when everyone else is being quiet? That would be absolutely mortifying.

Another library blogging session for me. Sometimes even if I have reading and math homework hanging over my head all I want to do is write nonsense on a blog. It's been one of those weekends. You know what I mean right? Those weekends where you just have tons of fun and meet new people, where you go to Denny's, twice, and stay up until 4 every night. Those weekends don't come often enough. It all started out Friday night at Conor's house. Conor, Erin, Jordan, Justin, and I all watched "Face Off!" Which is a new competition show for people who do special effects make up. It was awesome, to say the least. We then tried to start a campfire out in the snow. Fail. I made one smore and then began to bitch immensely about how cold I was. We then played Malarky which is a game of deceit and lies. So I rock at it naturally. Actually I really don't. Jordan won this round. But I'll get her next time.

At around midnight I went to Denny's to meet up with the one and only Katy Hunter. She had come up to Ogden this weekend with her two awesome roommates, Pearl and Rakul, and Nicholas and Isaac. So of course I had to stalk them. Pearl is a bad ass and through some trickery was able to get Rakul up to Ogden. I enjoyed the company of Katy, Pearl, and Rakul on Saturday too. These kids rock hard core. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Things that came from hanging out with the Juniper 3:

1. I can now call Rakul my friend. And she can tell people she got my number (so smooth).
2. Pearl and I are friends off of Facebook.
3. Date with Katy Hunter (even though she constantly talked about her other dates in front of me.)
4. New found appreciation for sleep.

On Saturday night I went and saw "Life in a Day" which is a film at this year's Sundance Film Festival. Basically this guy had people film themselves for a day, July, 24, 2010, and then send in the footage. There was some really inspiring stuff, some funny things, sad things, and even disturbing images. I did shed a couple tears when they killed the cow. What can I say? It was sad.

Now it's time for me to go take a nap in Geology. It will be a miracle if I pass my classes. A few thoughts: when you post something on Facebook and you insist on using the wrong form of you're, there, to, etc. I have a hard time focusing on the actual meaning of your post. Even though I got Sarah a calendar for Christmas she still has no idea what day it is. Saige hasn't been mentioned in a long time so, Saige, here is your mention. Rakul is fabulous. Pearl is too cool in real life. I love Katy Hunter. Conor rocks at starting fires. Jordan is a good liar. Erin, it's Brittany's car so back off! And Nicholas and Isaac, you two are so hot. The end.

Feel the Fear... Then... DO IT ANYWAY!

Title of today's blog comes from a self help book that was being read by some kid on the shuttle today. What kind of self help book are kids reading these days? Here are a couple that probably aren't in print but should be:

1. How to be a Recluse. And Love It.
2. So You have Genital Herpes. What Now?
3. Blogging For Dummies. (That one probably is printed. And I may or may not have read it.)
4. Hoarding: Where Do I Put All This S***?
5. Guide to Ordering Drinks at Starbucks: Tall, Grande, and Cardiac Arrest.
6. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. No thanks I've got my 10-speed: How to Be a Hipster.

I will be collecting royalties when these books are written.

I'm sitting in the library blogging when I should be studying for my Geology exam. Speaking of Geology I was in class the other day sitting next to the creepy Kevin Costner look alike and I began to think about being the first person to be on Earth. No matter what your beliefs there has to be some beginning point of humanity. It's not like we all popped into existence with Home-Depots and Cafe Rios and worked our way up from there. We had to start somewhere and I can't even imagine what that would be like. Pretty nutty.

I have single handedly destroyed 3 pairs of headphones this week. I am one of those insane people who like the regular old ipod headphones. I don't need the fancy ones that mold to my ears and block out all other sounds of the world. I just want my simple ones. I want to be able to hear people sneaking up on me. Call me low maintenance or paranoid but it's just how it is. So right now I'm using a pair with the little rubber part missing. I am worried that everyone around me can hear what I'm listening to. Not because I don't want to be annoying but because I'm worried they won't like my music. It's a real fear. Not everyone likes Rod Stewart, although they should.

I just witnessed a girl walking outside. She paused for a moment, looked around, then ran straight for a flock of pigeons. I wonder if she knows that people can see through windows. The pigeons on campus are vicious. Having become accustom to the hustle and bustle of the U of U campus they no longer fear humans. I have personally come close to being attacked and frankly I'm surprised that girl made it to the library alive.

This morning I had my History of Rock and Roll class with Morgan. I love this class because it's a fairly interesting subject and the teacher really knows his stuff. He just recites this information and gets really into his teaching. Today he demonstrated some dances from the 1960s such as the mashed potato, the swim, the twist, and many others. And as Morgan says it's a great way to start the morning. He also has some great quotes from people. Today he quoted, "Ladies and Gentleman he said, 'In the 1960s, God was a black girl and she knew how to sing.'" It's a great class.

I sent Katy Hunta a package on Tuesday. If she doesn't pick it up today I will be extremely upset. I get overly excited about surprises. Even though she knows it's coming and knows at least half of what's in it.  She will probably think it's lame but lie to me and say that she loves it. Katy is good at that. And by that I mean being a good friend. What a kid.

Before I fall asleep in this immensely comfortable chair in the library and/or lose motivation to study I better finish up this post. So some random thoughts. The maintenance people at Chapel Glen like to watch Spanish soap operas in the lounge, loaded questions with the Westminster kids is always interesting, they are making a new Starbucks cup size and I think I just felt my heat fail, I found out we are all made of particles that were once part of stars, and the lithosphere is composed of the crust and the upper part of the mantle and is solid. Just getting some practice in.

Daley's improvement to our vacuum. The Dyson Devil. Probably better than your vacuum.

First week of school: DOMINATED. Somewhat.

I'm just going to get this out of the way:

Right? No words can describe the asian-ness that is flowing from this picture.

Daley doesn't know that this picture is on the blog... and Facebook. But I figure by sending it to me she has consented to having it posted EVERYWHERE. Shit happens. Deal with it Daley.

The first week of school doesn't really count. It's like pre-season games in sports or pre-gaming for a party, it doesn't really matter because by the end of the semester, season, or night you're still f-ed. I have rearranged my schedule for school a million times this week and am still not happy with it. I have frequented the bookstore buying and returning books. This of course means dealing with the bookstore staff who are sometimes normal but most of the time not. There is an older gentleman who works there and one day he stopped me and said, "Where did you get your glasses? I love those frames!" All I wanted to say was please don't get the same glasses as me, that would be detrimental to what little social life I have. But I don't have the balls to say that so instead I tell him where I got them. Fail. Another fail: First day back to work after knee injury and I knock down a little boy. Yet another: Can't beat Mario Kart Time Trials. 

I went to the Weber State Men's Basketball game on Saturday with Erin, Jordan, and Kelsi. It was so much fun even with the lady behind us who seemed to know basketball terminology but didn't seem to know when to use it. In other words she kept babbling on behind us and didn't know what she was talking about. This basketball game was extra busy because it was the night the Jazz Bear came to do stupid stunts for the Weber State crowd. Being a mascot must be such a dangerous profession. Some of the stuff they do is just stupid and dangerous and for what? The entertainment of the crowd. What has this world come to? Oh and I didn't make it on the Jumbotron so I'm pissed. 

And that's pretty much my life. Remember: contrary to the picture above, Cho Chang was not in Gryffindor. Facebook fights are dumb. The Hunger Game series is... eh. Rain but no snow = no bueno. Crepes with Erin for Martin Luther King Day. Respect your mother... Earth.  

Season of the Bitch

Another post? So soon after the last? You lucky kids.

So I totally neglected to talk about my week prior to yesterday in the last blog. I spent a lot of time with two of my favorite people Erin and Jordan. These kids are basically awesome. We spent one night going to Paces and then trying and failing to get tickets to Season of the Witch. The next night we tried again to get tickets and were finally able to get some for the late show. Why was this movie was sold out two nights in a row? The world will never know. We decided that no movie is complete without sneaking in a plethora of snacks. Erin was able to hide a bag of kettle chips under her jacket and jordan and I hid drinks in our hoods and a whole ton of candy in our pockets. We are such rebels. It kills me. Really it's not even about eating the candy but it's the thrill of sneaking it in and then watching people's faces in the movie theatre as we unload our treats.

Season of the Witch is the latest of Nicholas Cage's attempts at acting. Yet again he has failed. Miserably. Throughout the whole movie Erin and I were laughing at the lame one-liners, the mediocre attempts at being scary, and or course the gargoyle looking thing at the end that looked like a high school film class made. I think the other patrons of the movie theatre were annoyed with us but secretly agreed with us. !!!SPOILER ALERT!!! The movie sucked.

Oh and after the movie Erin, Jordan, and I beat Mario Kart. Rainbow Road can suck it!

Today was the first day of second semester for the U. I woke up this morning to a bad hair day and after trying and failing to tame it I left my dorm with a hat on. The first class of the day was geology. Ironically it doesn't rock. At all. The professor seems super stoked about studying rocks. He has been doing it for the last 40 years. Well someone has to do it I guess. My next class was Chemistry. It will be the death of me (rhyming bonus). At 330 students it is by far the biggest class I have ever had. My professor is Vietnamese and has a little accent but it isn't too bad because he is funny as hell. He kept making jokes and then told us he came to America on a boat after escaping from Vietnam. After realizing this wasn't a joke, things got awkward for the kids who laughed. They will learn.

To all those starting school again good luck in the coming semester. God willing we all pass without going insane. Final thoughts: Why did the bookstore give me candy when I bought books? Sesame Seed chips are way too good. I don't have class until 12:55 tomorrow. Dropping Spanish has it's perks. I miss my Ogden friends and my friends going to other colleges around the state and country. Drop me a line and we will have a nice talk, or I'll ignore your call. Goodnight everyone.

If you can't tell, I'm annoyed with my neighbors.

Well it's that time again. Time to ignore Daley's stories and the annoying neighbors and time to update the blog.

On the way to Salt Lake today I noticed several people swerving around something in the road ahead. As I approached I realized it was one of those plastic snowmen placed in yards for decoration. I didn't believe it at first because it was quite a weird sight. Then I began to think about schizophrenic people and how difficult driving would be for them. You see some guy swerving around invisible obstacles in the road and you know he is just thinking, "These leprechauns better get out of the road or someone is going to get hurt. Ah! There's that elephant again!" Must be a scary but interesting experience for them. That was a random tangent. Back on track.

I got to the dorm and found a refrigerator in the bathroom, an annoying amount of bass emitting from the neighbors room, a notice saying Daley and I forgot to lock our window, and a clean bathroom. Well that's college ya know? Everything is unexpected. I'm glad to be back in school. I've missed my friends and living in Salt Lake. I'll even get over having to live with Daley. Someday.

Before leaving for the break Daley "accidentally" poured cereal ALL over the place. Well mostly on my rug and behind the refrigerator (the one in the room not the bathroom). I personally think it was on purpose but all personal vendettas aside, I decided that it needed to be cleaned up. Rather than going to the housing office and renting a vacuum I just bought a little Dirt Devil. Daley and I are pretending it's a Dyson because we long to be classy. But anyway after spending way too long assembling the damn think I plugged it in and turned it on for the maiden voyage. I was overly excited about the vacuum. Daley was less than ecstatic but that's just her personality. Boring. After vacuuming I realized why the spokespeople on infomercials are always so coked up on the products they are selling. I want to create an infomercial for this little Dirt Devil. Keep reading and I'll throw in a couple extra sentences for FREE. Just pay separate processing and handling. (Just getting some practice in.)

Feeling guilty about eating that extra cookie? Or maybe you are looking for some disgustingly bad-for-you recipes? Whatever your reason you should check out this site Daley just showed me: http://www.thisiswhyyourefat.com/ It's an instant way to make you feel a little better about yourself. Unless one of the pictures is from your own kitchen. In which case you're basically famous so screw all those haters! This is my favorite mostly because the three Pabst cans. So classy.

Doughnut Pizza + 3 beers = Gastric Bypass surgery!

I take no ownership of this picture. It belongs to some fatty.

As usual I will leave you with some words of wisdom to ponder until next time you feel bored enough to return. First, if you're my neighbor turn down your bass on your sound system. You're not impressing anyone with your shitty quality speakers turned up loud. Second, remember that if you sing in your car when you're alone, other people can still see you. And it's damn funny. Third, don't be afraid of constructive criticism. It hurts but it helps. 

You need to calm down.

Goodbye 2010. You were a great... Ok maybe a mediocre year. I have always wondered why people welcome a new year by drinking a massive amount of alcohol and doing stupid things. Come on guys you aren't making a great first impression. Please stop. You're embarrassing me. This year I welcomed the new year by hanging out with some great people and playing drinking games with root beer. Maybe wasn't the best idea. Taking shots of root beer makes you really sick really fast. The best part of the night was listing New Years resolutions. Bryleigh made one saying she was going to stop swearing. Then at approximately 12:01 she exclaims, "Fucking... Damnit! I ruined it!" I haven't thought up any New Year's resolutions yet so I will list some now:

1. Stop trying to make Daley move out, and MAKE her move out.
2. Finally tell Saige and Paige what I did in her room while they were gone.
3. Beat Sarah at Bananagrams.
4. Make Liz do my chemistry homework.
5. Do a double backflip... On purpose.
6. Hang out with someone new every week. Even if that means kickin it with the hobos.

There will probably be more. But for now this list will do.

There is nothing that makes me more frustrated then when people get mad at sales people for no reason. But apparently my sister, Stephanie, gets even more upset. Today we were standing in line when this monster-bitch lady in front of us started being super rude to the cashier. My sister promptly stepped in and told the lady that she needed to calm down. The lady then started yelling at my sister and the cashier making herself look like more of a fool before storming off. A word to those who are reading: be nice to people helping you. They have enough shit to deal with without you acting like an ass.

I cleaned my room today. This was something that has needed to be done for a really long time. I found the most random stuff in my room. Trash, an Obama mask, a poncho, and shoes that I thought I threw away about two years ago. I'm surprised no one has gone missing in the depths of my room. It's probably a good thing I finally cleaned or I would have had to call the national guard to help with this national threat.

To say a couple things before I leave: I want to golf now that I can't, Pearl rocks my socks off, she is really so great, staying up until 4 every night has really fucked up my sleep schedule, I need a new addition to the dictures album, I need some new music, and it's that time of year to get Christmas decorations torn down. Get it done people. Happy New Year everyone!