Get out your Abercrombie polos, it's springtime.

Since freaking Allison blogged, I thought 7 of 50 would be out-doing myself ...but I'll do it anyway. I'll be honest, I used to always think blogging was kind of a joke. I still do. But here I am blogging, so what does that say about me? Speaking of jokes, let's say there is someone you constantly text because you like them and you think they you. Let's also say the ratio of texts you send to texts you receive is about 14 to 5. Let's also say this person constantly finds the longest, most out of the way routes to the dorms out of fear of having to see/talk to you. REALLY? Pleeeease, you need to leave them alone.

It is definitely Spring. Oh you want proof? My chemistry professor has changed his wardrobe from button-up dress shirts to short-sleeved Abercrombie polos. SPRING IS HERE! And with spring comes the end of second semester. There are many things I will miss about the living in the dorms:

• douches
• the lingering mystery smell of whatever the hell the suitemate makes drifting into our room
• listening to our neighbor Not get better at the acoustic guitar
• stinky hallways
• the neighbor's new sound system

Things I will not EVER miss, in fact, HATE:

• always waking up in the middle of the night to freaking Allison hovering over me watching me sleep
• "laaaadies"
• Sarah likes the cake in Matilda (fact: Matilda was Not adopted at birth)
• sheep with machine guns
• laughing at girls who fall out of cars
• "astronomers"
• Christmas music warzz
• Iron Chef nights AND DOMINATING EVERY TIME
• waking up with my face on our toilet :/
• turning our room into a theater
• the asian he-she, who is probably a she (lack of adam's apple)
• HP with fake nose rings

I am a very hateful person and this list can go on forever, dear readers, so I stop it here at "HP with fake nose rings".

I have a recent obsession with the wizard people dear readers videos. I may or may not have downloaded the whole movie and finished it within 3 days... Cool.

I leave you with the quote of the year: "Hey Ron, you look tired. Have you been tested for diseases?"

I want to change my name to Alli$on.

Am I the only one that struggles with doors? Either I'm pulling when it's a push or I neglect to open the door fully and end up running into it. I'm the person who enters a revolving door and forgets what to do. I also never know the appropriate time for holding the door open for someone. If they are 100ft away but walking fast do I stand there like a doorman and hope they tip? What if it's Sunday? So many factors. Oh and you know that awkward situation when someone is coming out of a door and you're going in? You do a little tango deciding who is going to go first then someone ends up pressed up on the wall holding the door open for the other person. Doors are an annoyance. If I had anything to do with it I would never leave my house or my WOW account.

Enough about doors. I think we can all agree that 11 sentences on doors is 11 sentences too many. I realized today that this blog was created for the use of Daley and me to chronicle our adventures in college as roommates. There is one problem though, this time next week we will no longer be roommates. What will become of this blog? I know a lot of you are asking "Will you be there?" (not like the Michael Jackson song Daley and I recently rediscovered from our Free Willy days). Calm down Saige, Daley and I will continue writing at random intervals so you can continue to kill time while waiting for the doctor or at a wedding. Once a roomie always a roomie. PROTECT THIS HOUSE! And by 'house' I mean 'blog.'

This last week Daley, Liz, and I participated in a bike parade. We dressed up and won 3rd place ($40 to Dodo's HELL YEAH). Here is the picture. It speaks for itself.

Al, Ernie, and Dale. We enjoy NASCAR, beef jerky, America, beer, and our hounds. 

So since the end of my freshman year is approaching fast, let me take a minute to remember the year that has passed. Let's get to it.

Met Daley (roomies at first sight). Went to Target at midnight with my new friends Saige, Paige, Sarah, and Liz (didn't realize they were terrified of me). Saige saying, "All I can think about is vaginas." and deciding to start a Dictures album to capture all these moments. Going to She & Him with Daley kins and Talia. Realizing how much I dislike the suite mates. Buying coloring books at Smiths. Going to football games... correction: going to a football game. Realizing that I live in the shit hole of residence halls when Daley and I saw a couch in front of our dorm and someone peeing on the corner of the building. Tuesday night movies with all the cool kids (matinee prices ALL DAY). DI runs for POWER TEES and of course POWER TEE Thursday. Bananagrams and other games with the cool kids minus Saige. Tagging Sarah and Liz's car and saying they are "sooooo DTF." Limeade before the gym, terrible idea. Starting a blog with my favorite roommate. Harry Potter talk. Rules of the room. Playing quidditch.. on greek row. BUENO BUENO BUENO Dorm Mix! Saige being a Chaige all day long. Pumpkin carving contests and Sarah ditching out. Rocky Horror Picture show. Orch Dorks 4 life. Christmas/Hanukkah time. Christmas cards, secret santa, and red-eye remover. Season of the Bitch. Daley downloads porn. Light shows, coffee, and country capitals. Dance party in Provo at the OZZ! Festival of Colors. Making giant cupcakes that break and are overly pink. Lip-synching videos and realizing I don't know the words to any Celine song. Apartment hunting with Paige. Chemistry with Daley and Paige. Bike Parade and being the best rednecks we could be. Sushi for Paige's birthday and having our cake and eating it too.

I know I'm leaving out a ton of stuff but I think we all get the point.

I'm going to miss these kids. 

I can't think of a clever title so let's just dive right in...

I write today to address a serious issue that I’m having. I don’t know how many of you have been afflicted with this terribly wonderful website but I know that it takes up 95% of my time with the other 5% being sleep time. StumbleUpon. It’s a slippery slope and once you start stumbling you can’t stop (hence the stumbling) and the worst part is there is no anonymous support group like those alcoholics get. This problem is seriously contagious. Spread mainly through word of mouth and posting, StumbleUponitis can be spread to as many as 400 people a day. This number is of course dependent on how much you talk to your real life friends and how much you spam your Facebook friends (which are not real friends, Chris Hansen will tell you that). It’s a problem reaching the level of epidemic right next to poking and tweeting.

Have you ever caught yourself staring off into space and that space happens to be occupied by a person… Who is staring back? Maybe this only happens to me. I sometimes get so wrapped up in my thinking that I forget that I haven’t blinked or looked away from a person in a good 2 minutes. I have been thinking of a solution to this problem for a good month now and the only one I have come up with is pulling a “That’s So Raven” moment. After you realize what you’re doing, blink several times, shake your head, and say, “Cory’s in trouble!” then run off. This may make you look crazy but it could possibly get you a TV show.

Lately there have been several people around campus tabling on behalf of various efforts. All these people have one thing in common; they want to talk to me incessantly until I listen. I’ve come up with a solution to this problem too. Simply look at them and say, “I found Jesus. Have you?” Being at the U campus this would work about 85% of the time. If you are at a liberal arts college expect this to work almost 100% of the time but also expect to have very few friends. And if you go to a private institution (BYU) don’t even try this tactic. Just listen to the people or pretend you’re deaf. Of course knowing those over achievers at BYU they are probably all fluent in sign language. You can also apply this phrase to a lot of situations in life such as when you are at McDonald's. ("Do you want to Super Size that?" "Let me answer your question with another. Have you found Jesus?") God forbid you would be at McDonald's but I'm just spit balling ideas here. 

Daley recently had a problem with a certain suite mate using her shampoo. What’s the solution to this problem? Voice a loud phone conversation in the bathroom stating how the shampoo works great and that almost all the crabs are gone.

Daley and I need to go grocery shopping. We currently have Saltines, peanut butter, jam, sketchy drinks, and wontons in our refrigerator. So if you have a good recipe using those ingredients please let me know immediately! We probably have a couple mints somewhere too so keep that in mind.

For those reading, please refrain from having an album on Facebook with the title, “Me!” or “Just Being Me” or “pIcS oF mE!!! :)” or any variation of that those. It’s your Facebook. We realize that you will have pictures of yourself. You don’t need to be so conceited to have 174 pictures of yourself in a bathroom, in a mirror, with your friends cropped out, or showing off every outfit you own. No one cares. It’s almost as bad as writing a blog. Almost but not quite. 

And now for the grand finale! I hate when people use those damn headsets to talk on the phone. Especially in the library. People need to stop complaining about Utah weather. Mostly because the subject is taking over my News Feed and makes it hard to do some serious Facebook stalking. I feel bad for Rebecca Black. I think everyone forgets she is the scapegoat for the dumb ass who wrote the song and auto tuned it (if you don't know what I'm talking about see the "Friday" by Rebecca Black music video). And she is like 14. Making fun of a 14 year old is pretty rude. Pick on someone your own size like Ke$ha. Sometimes I complain about things and call it a blog. Without me what would you have done with the last 5 minutes of your life? Have a wonderful day and leave the library to talk on your phone.