Good morning/afternoon/night/riddance/grief. How are ya’ll doin? School has ended, summer is beginning, and I’m moved into a new-ish apartment with the one and only Paige. Daley should just come live with us. And Saige. And Liz and Sarah. Just everyone. Not seeing all these kids every day sucks. But it’s time for new beginnings, right?
Since moving in Paige and I have had many adventures. I don’t think we understood how much work an apartment required to look good. What? We don’t just throw in some furniture, eat some cereal everyday, and call it good? Here is the story from the beginning:
In the beginning God created the broken windows and greasy cabinets. The apartment was without furniture and smelled kinda funny, and darkness was upon it because of lack of lightning. And God said, “Let there be light”; and there was a lamp. And God saw the lamp and it would do ok for now. (Skip the part about light, dark, day, night, land and water). And God said, “Let the parents bring forth food, drink, and paper towels in which the kids can use and live from.” And it was so. On the third day God said, “Let Daley, Paige, and Allison sleep on the floor and watch ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ from a laptop.” And it was so… uncomfortable. On the fourth day God said, “Let there be a struggle to get a couch, two beds, a bookshelf, and a dining room table up the stairs.” And it was so. And God saw it and it was funny to watch. On the fifth day God said, “Let there be a cool chair so large that it will not fit in a Honda Civic but instead cause frustration to the masses. Oh and let it be raining too.” And it was so, and it sucked. And God saw this and broke the chair. Later, God created IKEA. And God said, “Behold, cranky people, Swedish furniture, and a food court all in one place. I have given you every kind of dresser, in every color, a plethora of chairs, in which you shall sit after building. And I have given you really good cinnamon rolls.” God saw everything he had created and it was profitable and good. On the sixth day God created a chalkboard wall, DVD player, and toaster oven. And they were good. Thus the apartment was finished. And on the seventh day, Allison got crabs from Saige. God saw the ugly creatures and regretted putting them on the ark.
That about sums up the first week of moving in. And all this with no day of rest. Not trying to one up the Lord Almighty but…
Paige and I are actually really enjoying our apartment. Every day there is a new and exciting thing to discover. No hot water, a broken mail key, dead plugs, and shoddy craftsmanship on the windows just makes us grateful for living 30 minutes away from home. Oh and did I mention we don’t have Internet yet? I have gotten so much done without constantly checking Facebook. It is terrible.
Layton Police caught me ridin dirty (is that still cool?). I was disappointed in myself after handing my license and registration to the mustached cop. I was hoping against hope to only get a warning while accepting my fate until I saw the second cop car pull up. That’s when I got worried. What had I done recently? It couldn’t have been the dogfights; Jorge was cool he wouldn’t rat me out. What about that drug cartel I was apart of? Or the Ponzi Pyramid scheme? Oh shit it couldn’t have been that free cable deal I had going on… I was just getting ready to gun down the road and start my new life as Martha the middle aged quilter from New Jersey when the officer came up to my window and handed me my information back and a ticket for speeding. Really? Two officers for a ten over speeding ticket? Please. I was getting ready for my debut on Cops.
Until next time remember: never underestimate the power of boobs in a job interview… Sarah. The last Pirates movie is just as terrible as the last two. And just as long. Saige and I are master photographers. Sometimes homeless people walk around the library… Actually all the time. I feel like Daley and I are getting a divorce, who gets custody of the blog?
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